91. The borderline between 'I am' (beingness) and 'I am not' (non-beingness) is the precise location where the intellect subsides. It's the 'Maha-yoga' state. Be there!
Your arrival at the 'I am' in its wordless and pure state is the first thing to achieve. Now, after you have arrived here you have to dwell or stay here, this will be possible only after repeated attempts. Beware! This is a very slippery place! The pull of the mind or intellect is very strong, it cannot bear the 'I am' very long. But once you stabilize there, the intellect, without disappearing, does so, too. It is only after stabilizing in the 'I am' for a prolonged period that a moment will come when, quite spontaneously, you will also know 'I am not'. This is the border zone and the precise location where the intellect subsides and you are in a state of 'not-knowing'. This is called the 'Maha-yoga' or the 'Great-yoga', the union of 'being' and 'non-being' that is difficult to come by, hence 'Great'.
92. Recognize the Atman by understanding the knowledge 'I am', the Atma-jnana, which is all pervading, limitless and infinite.
A very important statement was made earlier where the knowledge 'I am' was said to be 'Brahman' with the 'Parabrahman' lying beyond it. Another important statement is made here where the 'Atman' or the Self is to be understood by understanding the 'I am'. The 'I am' is the 'Atman'. The 'Atman' with qualities or identifying itself with the body is the 'Jivatman' (Jiva=living being). The 'Atman' without qualities is the 'Nirmalatman' (Nirmal=pure). The 'Atman' which transcends both is the 'Paramatman' (The ultimate transcendent Self). As you abide in the 'I am' you will know the 'Atman' or Self in all its aspects, and this is Atma-jnana or Self-knowledge. It is the knowledge of your True being as the Absolute which is all pervading, limitless and infinite.
93. To abide in the knowledge 'I am' is one's true religion. Give the highest honor due to it. Doing so you will not undergo suffering or death.
Conventional religion comes after the 'I am' before belonging to any religion you have 'to be' and it is only after 'you are' that you are anything else. So, the true religion that you are endowed with is the knowledge 'I am' and this is common to all. So to abide in the 'I am' is your true religion and by doing so you are giving it the highest honor due to it. The benefits that you will get by this abidance in the 'I am' are tremendous - you will not undergo suffering or death. What more do you want?
94. Who says 'I was not' and 'I will not be' like the present 'I am'? It is the one who was, is, and will be forever.
When you ponder on the question 'What was I before I was born?', you realize that 'I was not', or that 'I was not as I am at present'. Then, as you believe 'you are' at present, you also realize, seeing people dying everyday that 'I would not be as I am at present'. So there are three things: 'I was not', 'I am', and 'I will not be'. Who knows this? It is the unchangeable Absolute, the Parabrahman, or the true Self who was, is, and will be forever.
95. When you say 'I was not prior to conception' you actually mean not like the present 'I am', but the one that discerns the absence of the present 'I am' was there.
Again, when you ponder on the question 'What was I prior to conception?', you at once realize that 'you were not there'. What you mean is you were not there as you presently are - that is you had no shape or form or name. There is 'someone' who sees the absence of the present 'I am' and that 'someone' has always been there and will continue to be there, as that 'someone' is indestructible: it is the Absolute.
96. Catch hold of the knowledge 'I am' in meditation and the realization will occur that 'I', the Absolute, am not the 'guna' (quality) 'I am'.
Throwing aside everything that does not go with 'I am' bring down your focus to the wordless 'I am'. For this you would have to apply your mind, go back and try to recollect the very first moment when you came to know that 'you are'. That first, nascent, word-free 'I am' is what you have to catch hold of during meditation. Dwell there and do not let it slip out of your hands. In the process you will realize that you as the Absolute are not the quality 'I am', which in fact belongs to the body with its five elements along with the three qualities. The three qualities being 'Sattva' (knowledge),' Rajas' (activity) and 'Tamas' (inertia), of which the 'I am' is 'Sattva'.
97. Do nothing but stay in the knowledge 'I am', the 'moolmaya' -, or primary illusion, and then it will release its stranglehold on you and get lost.
Once you have understood the knowledge 'I am' you have to do nothing but just abide in it. The 'I am' is the primary illusion or concept and is also known as the 'moolmaya' (rootMaya). At present you are in the firm grip of Maya (illusion), come to the root of this Maya, which is the 'I am'. On abiding in the 'I am' in fact you are now holding Maya by the root or its neck! And what will happen now? Maya realizes its own existence is in danger and thus releases its stranglehold on you, runs away and vanishes.
98. In deep meditation, infused only with the knowledge 'I am', it will be intuitively revealed to you as to how this 'I amness' came to be.
The Guru once again highlights the importance of meditation for the 'Sadhak' (aspirant); and this, too, is not something to be done casually but in a very deep way. What is meant by deep? Deep means that you know nothing but the sense 'I am' for a prolonged, uninterrupted period of time. Success may or may not come early, but come it will if you are completely infused with the knowledge 'I am' with enormous sincerity and earnestness. And what will be revealed to you? The 'I amness' itself will tell its story and you will come to know how it came to be. Or, paradoxically speaking, how the 'I am' never came to be or never was in the first place! It is always the Absolute that was, is, and will be for ever; the 'I am' was only an illusion that appeared on it.
99. The knowledge 'I am' means consciousness, God, Guru, Ishwara, but you the Absolute are none of these.
The knowledge 'I am' is but one of many names that have been attributed to it, like consciousness, God or Ishwara and Guru. Why so many names? Because the 'I am' is nameless and all these names have come by as it (the knowledge 'I am') intuitively revealed itself to different seekers who had deeply meditated on the 'I am'. Some saw it as God, some saw it as Brahman, some saw it as Guru and so forth. The ultimate revelation is, of course, that you stand apart from all these and are the Absolute, the formless, the eternal and totally free of all attributes.
100. You have to understand that the 'I am' is even before the arising of any words, thoughts or feelings.
The importance of the knowledge 'I am' as the first or primordial principle should never be forgotten. For this conviction to grow stronger, reversion to that moment when you first came to know that 'you are' or 'I am' is essential. When you do so, the purity of the 'I am' becomes very clear to you. You can also very clearly see that whichever way it happened the 'I am' is the first and the last thing that brought you into this world and now can take you out of it. Before anything else - words, thoughts or feelings - could be, the 'I am' had to be there.
101. The indwelling principle 'I am' is common to all and has no attributes; it is the principle of the whole functioning.
The knowledge 'I am' that has dawned on you is indeed the indwelling principle through which you function. Just ponder: can anything be if 'you' are not there? Your 'being' is of great importance for everything else to be. Prior to the arrival of this knowledge 'I am' did you know anything? Or during deep sleep, when the 'I am' is held in abeyance, do you know anything? This indwelling principle 'I am' does not belong to any particular individual but is common to all and has no attributes at all.
102. Identify yourself with the highest principle in you which is the knowledge 'I am'. This will elevate you to the status of 'Brihaspati' - the guru of gods.
Become completely one with the indwelling knowledge 'I am', it is the highest possible principle in you. First you must be able to see very clearly that there something called the knowledge 'I am' in you - that is, you have not only to spot it, but understand it in its totality. Then comes 'Sadhana' (practice), where you begin abiding in the 'I am', and this, in its acute phase, results in your becoming one with the 'I am', then only the 'I am' remains and nothing else. The Guru says that this will elevate you to the highest possible status, which he calls 'Brihaspati', meaning the greatest Guru, the Guru of Gods.
103. This knowingness 'I am' which came spontaneously and you felt gradually, is the ignorant-child-principle, the 'Balkrishna' state.
The Guru now calls the 'I am', which spontaneously appeared on you, the ignorant-child principle or 'Balkrishna' state. This adds more to your understanding of the 'I am'. Indeed, when the knowledge 'I am' dawned on you it was a state complete ignorance. You did not know what this sense of 'being' was and what to make of it. You knew only two states, those of 'I am' and 'I am not', which alternated on their own.
104. This 'I am' or Balkrishna state has great potential. Here 'Bal' means the child food body and 'Krishna' means 'non-knowing'.
The Guru further goes on to explain this ignorant-child principle or the Balkrishna state, which is nothing else but the 'I am', as having great potential. Why so? Because it is the primary concept or illusion on which is constructed everything else about you and your life. And, not only you, but this 'I am' has created the entire universe or cosmos. In its absence none of these exist. 'Bal' means the child food body, which also implies strength or power and 'Krishna' means 'non-knowing', which implies not knowing its own strength. This Balkrishna is very powerful and its potential for creation is enormous, just like the small seed that is quite unaware of its potential for creating a large banyan tree.
105. To do away with body-mind sense or identity, imbibe or dwell in the 'I am'. Later the 'I am' will merge into the ultimate nature.
When the 'I am' dawned on you, in its very early stages it did not identify with the body. You will have to apply your mind, go back, and try to recollect that phase when only the pure 'I am' existed with no adjuncts. It is much later and very gradually that the 'I am' starts identifying with the body initially, and mind also, together with time. All this occurs with you yourself being quite unaware of it; parents, teachers, friends, relatives and surroundings contribute to the process and strengthen the verbal 'I am'- resulting in a well developed, so-called 'personality'. If you are lucky enough, at some stage of your life, you will come across the right Guru who will point out the fallacy of this mistaken identity. He now explains this knowledge 'I am' to you and asks you to abide in it, to do away with the body-mind sense or your present identity. By and by a moment will come when the 'I am' will merge into your true ultimate nature.
106. The highest type of rest is when 'I am' and 'I am not' are both forgotten. It is called 'Param Vishranti', which also means total rest, complete relaxation or utter quietude in the highest state.
The word 'rest' has to be understood in its highest sense where you don't have rest for a certain period of time, but are eternally at rest. This state has been called as 'Param Vishranti', or the highest and final rest. In this state both the 'I am' and 'I am not' are forgotten. They are, in fact, aspects of the consciousness and you are neither of them. The meaning of the expression 'Param Vishranti' has been given as the highest type of rest. (In Marathi, 'param'=highest, 'vishranti'= rest. To clarify even further, the word 'vishranti' maybe split into 'visra'=forget, 'anti'=in the end).
107. Having acquired and understood the knowledge 'I am', stay there in seclusion and don't wander around here and there.
Getting stabilized in the knowledge 'I am', even after having understood it, is extremely difficult. Your identification with the body is one thing that gets in the way and the other is the mind, which, although it has understood the teaching, is sub-consciously not prepared to accept it. The mind keeps prompting you 'This can't be it, it's too simple', 'Try this', 'Try that', 'It must be very complex, search more' and so on. Thus the wandering continues endlessly and you remain where you are. The Guru perceives this difficulty and hence advises you to stay in seclusion - not from society - but from thoughts, just in the sense of 'being' or 'I am' and never wandering away from it. Remember that not wandering through physical seclusion maybe helpful but is quite secondary to the not wandering of thoughts when you seclude the 'I am' from the rest.
108. Once you stabilize in the 'I am', you will realize that it is not the eternal state, but 'you' are eternal and ancient.
You must have observed that although everyday you see people around you die, you yourself feel that you are going to continue as you are. Deep down, sub-consciously, you believe that things will remain as they are, nothing will change. Strangely though, in retrospect, you find that things have changed quite dramatically from what they were several years back, especially your notions, ideas and most of all priorities. It is this sub-conscious urge for eternity or immortality that has dragged you into spirituality. In a way you were not wrong, except that you mistakenly believed that you as a body, a person or as the 'I am so-and-so' are going to continue. Following the teaching of the Guru, when you stabilize in the wordless 'I am', you will realize that it is not eternal. You stand apart from the 'I am' as the true formless Absolute which is a witness to the 'I am' which has appeared on it. This true being of yours is eternal and ancient.
109. The sequence is 'I am' the witness to the whole manifestation, it occurs simultaneously. The 'I am' subsiding, what remains? You are 'That'.
The moment you wake up you have the feeling 'I am a witness to the world', it occurs so swiftly that you never give any thought to the question 'to whom did the witnessing occur?' Was it not to something prior to the 'I am'? Actually, the 'I am' and space go together and you instantly see the world or this manifestation. After this, your personality linked to your day to day life takes over and equally instantly the 'I am' is also lost and forgotten. As you come back to the wordless 'I am' and abide in it for a reasonable amount of time, one day it subsides, then whatever remains, you are 'That'.
110. What I say is simple, when the 'I am' arises, everything appears, when 'I am' subsides everything disappears.
The real Guru's words are always simple, for he is no longer an individual. He expects nothing from you except the development of a firm conviction in the simple teaching that he imparts. It is indeed through his grace that he has handed over something so profound to you in such a simple manner. Everything has been centered around the 'I am': the 'I am' arising, everything appears, the 'I am' subsiding, everything disappears. Just understand the 'I am', abide in it and be free from it and your job is done.
111. You want me to say something about the post-'I am' manifestation, while I am driving you to the pre-'I am' Absolute.
Just see how clear the Guru's intentions are, his sole concern is to drive you towards the Absolute, which he says is prior to the 'I am'. What can he say about the post-'I am' manifestation? Since you don't understand the state prior to your 'being', or rather you have never known it or given thought to it, you urge him to say something that you know. You know a lot about the post-'I am' manifestation, you are comfortable with it, hence you would like to hear something in that domain only and not outside it. Now put aside all that is post-'I am' manifestation and try to focus on what the Guru is saying, which is about the pre-'I am' or the Absolute.
112. I am not telling you what the real is, because words negate that. Whatever I am telling you is not the truth, because it has come from the 'I am'.
The utmost honesty of the Guru must be appreciated when he says that whatever he is telling you is not the truth. In fact it makes your understanding more clear, and emphasizes the total unreliability of words to realize the truth.
But since we have no other means of receiving instruction from the Guru he uses words and he makes it clear that the real is beyond words. The moment you utter a word it must come from the 'I am' and the 'I am' is false.
113. I take you to the source 'I am' again and again, on reaching and stabilizing there you realize there is no 'I am'!
The Guru is tireless in his efforts and very generous indeed. All those who come to his door receive the same treatment - that is, they are taken to the source 'I am' again and again. He does not talk about anything else, he wants to make the most of whatever time he has left in this physical body and impart his teaching to all those who come. He is hopeful that of the many that come at least a few, or maybe only one, may understand what he is saying, get stabilized in the 'I am', realize its unreality and be free from it.
114. There is no explanation how this seed, this consciousness or the knowledge 'I am' has arisen. But once it has come it keeps humming through the 'gunas'.
The arising of the knowledge 'I am' occurs quite spontaneously and there is no explanation as to how this seed consciousness came to be. Just as there is no explanation why a child likes to play. But once the knowledge 'I am' arises it likes to keep humming through the 'gunas', the three qualities that, along with the five elements, make up the body. The word 'humming' has been used because in Marathi 'gun-gun' means humming.
115. You must know how this 'I am' came about, as it is the only thing by which you can unravel the whole mystery.
The key to this whole mystery of life lies in one and only one thing and that is the knowledge 'I am'. The 'I am' has to be understood very clearly with no doubts whatsoever in your mind. If necessary, go through the words of the Guru again and again. Once having understood it you will have to dwell or reside in the 'I am' in its utmost purity and then its relevance will stand exposed and you will know about its arrival and departure.
116. Onto your Absoluteness, which is without form or shape, came this knowledge 'I am', which is also without shape and form.
Just think about what you were prior to conception. You were simply not there! Nothing! So where is the question of form or shape in just infinite space? You were happily placed, there was no worry at all, and then this knowledge 'I am' arrived. This knowledge 'I am' inherits the properties of your Absoluteness in having no form and shape. Thus all knowledge is formless because at its origin lies the 'I am'.
117. This knowledge 'I am' has spontaneously 'appeared' on your Absolute state, therefore it is an illusion.
You were 'not there' and spontaneously 'you are', the 'I am' has 'appeared' on your Absolute state. Was there any volition on your part in it? Not at all, it's like the dream which only 'appears' non-volitionally when you fall asleep. The dream 'appears' to be true as long it lasts and, like the dream, the 'I am', too, is an illusion only true as long it lasts. With the disappearance of 'I am' you are in your Absolute state.
118. This knowledge 'I am', the 'sattva', cannot tolerate itself, so it needs the 'rajas' (doing) and 'tamas' (claiming doership) for support.
Understanding the 'I am' is one thing and abiding in the 'I am' is quite a challenging task. It sounds simple but the 'Sadhana' (practice) requires considerable determination and earnestness on the part of the seeker. It is made clear here that the 'I am' in its purity is the 'sattva' quality, which cannot tolerate itself (no wonder you slip!). The 'sattva' constantly demands the companionship of the qualities 'rajas' (doing) and 'tamas' (claiming doership). But this is a battle against the current, remember you are going back, so hold on to the 'I am' and persist.
119. The only 'Sadhana' (practice) is to think: I am not the body, I am the formless, nameless knowledge 'I am' indwelling in this body.
It is stated very clearly that there is only one 'Sadhana' (practice) to undertake and that is to abide in the knowledge 'I am' indwelling in this body. This has to be done by bearing in mind three things: firstly that I am not the body, secondly that this knowledge is formless and thirdly that it is nameless or wordless. This can be done if you go back to the moment when this feeling 'I am' first appeared on you. During the initial period that followed after its appearance the 'I am' was in its purest state and these three criteria applied to it.
This done, you will not need to do anything else.
120. When you abide for a sufficiently long time in the 'I am', the knowledge 'I am' itself will make everything clear to you. No external knowledge will be necessary.
To begin with, the 'I am' has to be completely understood and retraced back to its pure state when you were not aware of the body. At that time the 'I am' was wordless, formless and purely a feeling that 'you are'. Having caught the 'I am' you have now to abide in it for a sufficiently long time, this reversion and abidance will have to be done repeatedly. In the process the knowledge 'I am' will befriend you and reveal its secret, and then no external knowledge will be required.
121. Conviction is the only technique and the Guru's only initiation is: "you are not the body but only the 'I am' without words".
The many people who have read a lot and moved from Guru to Guru have found that 'initiation' and 'technique' are commonly transmitted from Guru to their disciples. Expecting something quite similar, they are taken aback when they come upon a true Guru who says that conviction is the only technique. And what is that conviction about? It is that I am not the body, but only the knowledge 'I am' without words, which he says is the only initiation. This is something very basic, simple and straightforward and the beauty of it is that it does not conform to any conventional religion.
122. When you clearly see that it is the 'I am' that is born, you stand apart from it as the unborn.
The belief that you are born and will die one day is embedded very strongly in you at present and hence fear ever prevails. Following the Guru's teaching you go back and come to the knowledge 'I am' and dwell there for a sufficient amount of time. It is during this period of abidance in the 'I am' that a moment comes when you see very clearly that it is the 'I am' that is born. When you see this, you stand apart from it as the unborn, something which occurs almost immediately.
123. Once the 'I am' goes, what remains is the Original which is unconditioned, without attributes or identity. This is called 'Parabrahma', or the Absolute.
The departure of the 'I am', marks the end of all concepts, or 'the illusion'. You are no longer a conditioned individual but stand as the Original - and the Original has no attributes or identity. How could the formless, nameless infinite have any attributes or identity? It is the very basis. All that we see with attributes or identity have only appeared on it, which again are based on the fundamental primordial concept or illusion 'I am'. Since the only means of communication we have is words or language, this infinite has been called the 'Parabrahman' or the Absolute.
124. The absence of 'I am' is not experienced by 'someone'; it has to be understood in such a manner that the experiencer and the experience are one.
You are so deeply rooted in duality that you always feel that there must be 'someone' who will experience nothingness, the void, space or the absence of 'I am'. It is impossible for the mind to conceive of a state of non-duality because it can function only in a dual or subject-object mode. Thus, obviously, the mind has to stop or you have to transcend the mind, and for that to happen you have to come to the 'I am', which is the point from where the mind begins. When you abide in the 'I am', a moment comes when it disappears and then the experiencer and the experience merge and what remains is your true natural state, beyond words or description.
125. The knowledge 'I am', which appeared in childhood, is a cheat as it has made you believe the illusion is true.
See how this knowledge 'I am' is a friend and foe as well. As a friend it can show you the way out, but, as a foe, it has tricked you into believing you are a body. It has conned you into imagining you are a person born in this world, and that one day you will die. This Janus-like nature of the 'I am' has to be understood, it is the lord of the gates with two opposing faces.
126. This knowledge 'I am' has dawned on you, thereafter witnessing began. That 'One' who witnesses is separate from what is witnessed.
This knowledge 'I am' has come uncalled, it has appeared or dawned on you without your asking for it. It came very spontaneously and swiftly, and before even you could do anything the witnessing of space began. The 'I am' and space came together, you 'saw' and felt the body and started identifying the 'I am' with it. In the process of going back you ponder on the question 'who is witnessing?' or 'On whom did this 'I am' appear?' Then you realize that the 'One' who witnesses has to stand apart from what is witnessed, and that this 'One' has been forever there.
127. Meditation is this knowledge 'I am', this consciousness meditating on itself and unfolding its own meaning.
When we talk of meditating on the knowledge 'I am', what is being done? It is the knowledge 'I am' that is meditating on itself. You mustn't meditate on the 'I am' as 'I am so-and-so', or such-and-such person. Dissociate the 'I am' from everything else, come down to its purest level and then let the wordless 'I am' meditate on itself. When this is done for a sufficiently long time, it will unfold its own meaning.
128. When you meditate on the knowledge 'I am', which is the beginning of knowledge, how can there be any questions?
Do you or do you not always have some question or the other, or some doubt at the back of your mind when you indulge in any activity? Exactly the same happens when you enter the field of spirituality and begin meditation. The biggest question which usually lingers in the background is 'Is this all going to work or am I wasting time? But what happens when you meditate on the knowledge 'I am' as prescribed? How can there be any question now? If you have correctly understood the 'I am', you will see that it is the very beginning of knowledge, the 'I am' in its utmost purity. As a part of the practice you have to abide in the 'I am' and not move from it. If a question arises you can rest assured that you have wavered, or are no longer abiding in the 'I am'. In fact, this is a very useful means of assessing your progress in the 'Sadhana' (practice): the objective is to arrive at a stage when there are no questions arising anymore.
129. Use name, form and design only for worldly activities, otherwise just hold on to the knowledge 'I am' without body awareness - beyond name, form or design.
Although you maybe abiding in the 'I am', physically you are still lodged in the body, something you cannot do away with. You have a name, form and design assigned to you by the world. Well, since the world itself has given you all these, you may as well use these for all the worldly activities. Bear in mind always, at all times and unwaveringly that you are none of these; they are only available to you. Activities may go on, but you must keep holding on to the knowledge 'I am' without the body awareness.
130. There are no techniques except the technique that 'I am' - that is, the firm conviction that 'I am' means only 'I am'.
Again, the Guru places emphasis on his technique and teaching, or initiation, as mentioned earlier. The only technique prescribed is abidance in 'I am' and developing the firm conviction that 'I am'. What does this conviction mean? It means that when you abide in the 'I am', It is ONLY the 'I am' and nothing else - the 'I am' in its purity. You should be completely infused with the knowledge 'I am', everywhere and at all times. Then and only then you stand a chance of transcending it.
131. This conviction can be strengthened by meditation and meditation means when the knowledge 'I am' remains in that knowledge.
How did the conviction that 'I am the body' or 'I am so-and-so' come? It was because you were reminded of these again and again by the people around you. This is the convention, the tradition, part of the conditioning, and you believe 'I am born as a body in this world'. What the Guru is saying is quite contradictory to the conviction you have developed through your conditioning. When the conditioning started you were raw and these beliefs have sunk deep into you, so in order to shake them off meditation is required. And what is this meditation? It is that once the knowledge 'I am' has been understood, it remains in itself and does not budge from there.
132. The greatest miracle is that you got the news 'I am'. It's self-evident. Prior to knowing that 'you are' what knowledge did you have?
Remember that moment when you first came to know that 'you are' or 'I am'. Almost instantly space also came along with it and soon you had the feeling 'I am in this world'. Just observe the power of this news 'I am' that you got, is it not a miracle that it created the world, which you believe you are living in? Before the arrival of the 'I am' did you know anything? Or rather, before the news 'I am' came did you need to know anything? Knowledge was not required because you were, and even now, you are knowledge itself!
133. Meditation means to have an objective or hold onto something. You are that something. Just being the being 'I am'.
Meditation means to ponder or have your attention focused on some object, image or 'mantra'. You do so till what you have held in meditation disappears, or you can say you the 'subject' and the 'object' merge into a unity. When you 'just be' or are in the knowledge 'I am' only, you are both the subject and the object of meditation. It is the 'being meditating on "being"' and as a result both cancel out each other and what remains ultimately is the Absolute.
134. It is not with the body identification that you should sit for meditation. It is the knowledge 'I am' that is meditating on itself.
True meditation only begins when initially, using your discrimination, you cut off everything that does not go with the 'I am'- which includes the body-mind identification, which is the major obstacle. You should not have the feeling 'I am so-and-so meditating' or 'I am sitting at this particular place, in this posture, meditating onï¿½' all these externalities must go. It should be only the knowledge 'I am' that should be meditating on itself. It is only when the purity of 'I am' is maintained in meditation that there is a chance that it will disappear.
135. When this 'I am' or conscious presence merges in itself and disappears the state of 'Samadhi' ensues.
You should be completely engulfed by the 'I am' or your conscious presence. In every way, in all directions, at all times the knowledge 'I am' must be infused into you. When you do this with earnestness and a tremendous intensity, the 'I am' merges into itself and disappears, When this happens it said that the state of 'Samadhi' ensues.
136. In the womb the knowledge 'I am' is dormant. It is the birth principle which contains everything.
The knowledge 'I am' is an assertive phenomenon which is very strong and prevalent throughout nature. The 'I am' is there in the egg released from the ovum in the female and also in every sperm of the male rapidly running towards the egg in the womb. When the sperms hover around the egg they are desperate to penetrate it and complete the process of the conception of another 'I am'. Finally one of them manages to enter, fertilization occurs and a new 'I am' is conceived. Thereafter it is a multiplication and differentiation process forming the embryo followed by the fetus in the womb. Each cell of the fetus carries the 'I am' which lies dormant in the womb - and it is the 'I am' that is born. The 'I am' contains everything and asserts itself strongly throughout the life of the body that is born, of course mistakenly believing itself to be the body!
137. The birth principle is 'Turiya' (the fourth state) which means 'where consciousness is'.
Careful observation of the whole process of reproduction, either sexual or other types prevalent in nature, has shown that it is a strongly self assertive phenomenon. Every living species wants to propagate and perpetuate and the self assertive 'I am' is the birth principle that is integral to the whole process. Since the birth principle was difficult to define or classify, it was simply called 'Turiya' by the ancient thinkers. The word 'Turiya' means 'the fourth', i.e. the fourth state of consciousness that lies at the very base of the other three, which are: waking, dream and deep sleep. It also means 'where the consciousness is'.
138. The experience that 'I am' or you exist is 'Turiya'. One who knows 'Turiya' is 'Turiyatita' (beyond the fourth state), which is my state.
The 'Turiya' is absolutely fundamental to your being and usually you are not aware of that state due to your cycling through the other three states which you are well aware of. The 'Turiya' is the 'I am' in its pure wordless form and the one who understands and transcends it is called 'Turiyatita' (the one beyond the fourth state), which is the state of the Guru.
139. 'Turiya' or 'I am' is within consciousness, which is the product of five elements.
Being beyond the 'Turiya', the Guru knows it very well and says that the 'Turiya' or the 'I am' is the birth principle and is within the consciousness. And, what is this consciousness or the 'I am'? It is a product of the five elements that make up the body. It is the very essence of the five elements and the three qualities and keeps on 'humming' throughout your life.
140. In order to stabilize in the 'I am' or 'Turiya' you must understand this birth-principle.
The Guru once again stresses the importance of understanding the 'Turiya', or the 'I am', in order to get stabilized in it. For this you will have to repeatedly go back to that moment when the 'I am' first appeared on you. The 'Turiya', which lay dormant from the day of your conception, suddenly or spontaneously popped up and you came to know that 'you are'. This wordless state of 'Turiya' prevailed for some time wherein you only knew that 'I am' and 'I am not'. Gradually, as a process of your conditioning, the 'I am' soon identified itself with the body and you became an individual (Mr. or Ms. 'so-and-so') living in the world. The three states of waking, dreaming and deep sleep took over and you forgot the background 'Turiya'.
141. 'Turiya' or 'I am' is always described as the witness state that sees through the waking, dreaming and sleeping. And 'Turiyatita' is even beyond that.
Further commenting on the 'Turiya' the Guru describes it as the 'witness' or the witnessing state that lies behind the waking, dreaming and deep sleep states; it does all the witnessing through these three states. Deep earnest meditation as prescribed by the Guru is required in order to get stabilized in the 'Turiya' or the 'I am', and only then you stand a chance of transcending the 'I am' and becoming a 'Turiyatita', the one beyond the 'Turiya' or the 'I am'.
142. In the absence of the basic concept 'I am', there is no thought, no awareness, and no consciousness of one's existence.
Understanding the importance of the basic concept 'I am' comes by constantly pondering on it. The more you dwell on it, the more you realize that 'yes, this is it'. On this 'I am' rests everything: all the thoughts that prevail, all the actions that you perform, the very awareness of your being, your existence; the 'I am'having gone all these go, like in the state of deep sleep or that period before the 'I am' arose.
143. Together with the body and the indwelling principle 'I am' everything is. Prior to that what was there?
The indwelling principle 'I am' is absolutely essential for everything to surface. The body may be there, but unless the 'I am' principle arises nothing can be known. Once you have understood the importance of the knowledge 'I am', all your efforts should be directed towards investigating it. The very first question that you must ask is: how did this 'I am' come to be? Prior to that what was there?
144. Hang on to the 'I am', which is your only capital, meditate on it, and let that unfold all the knowledge that has to come.
You have wandered a lot and here for the first time something so simple has been stated. The Guru has gone on trying to make you understand the 'I am' in every way he can. He calls this knowledge 'I am' the only capital you have and remember, when he says so he is right, you really do not have anything else after all the wandering you have done. Do what he says and now meditate on this knowledge 'I am'; the Guru says from his own experience that this knowledge itself will unfold whatever you want to know.
145. You should identify yourself only with this indwelling knowledge 'I am'. That is all.
Sever your links with everything that has just added onto the 'I am' and destroyed its purity. After doing this with surgical precision, just stay there and identify yourself with this pure indwelling knowledge 'I am'. This knowledge is the only legacy you have, understanding and abiding in it is all that you have to do. If you do this earnestly, a moment will come when you go beyond the 'I am' into your natural state.
146. Sit in meditation by identifying with the 'I am', dwell only on the 'I am'- not merely the words 'I am'.
Having understood the knowledge 'I am', dwell or abide in the 'I am' only, without words. In order to do this you will have to go back to that period that followed after the arising of 'I am', or when you just came to know that 'you are'. At that time you had no knowledge of words or language and lived in a non-verbal state; that state has to be caught and abided in. That period was devoid of any concepts, which came later as a part of your conditioning.
147. Forget all about physical disciplines in this connection and just be with that knowledge 'I am'.
A large number of physical disciplines have been prescribed by many and in the end you have to select the one which you find suitable. But here the Guru tells us to forget all physical disciplines; he is saying something that is altogether different. The Guru wants us to understand our sense of 'being' in its utmost purity and then just be with it. Understanding the knowledge 'I am' is important and so is abidance in it, together they form the 'Sadhana' (practice).
148. Do you require any special effort to know that 'you are'? The 'I am' without words itself is God.
If you have understood the knowledge 'I am', where is the question doing anything? No wonder the Guru rules out all physical disciplines. See the beauty of it, to know that 'you are' or 'I am' do you need a special effort? It is something so well ingrained in you that you don't even notice it. The Guru now tells you to draw your attention towards or focus on this sense or feeling of 'being' or 'I am' and then see what happens. This indwelling knowledge 'I am', without words, is the God in you.
149. You must fulfill the vow that I am not the body but the indwelling principle 'I am' only.
In order to understand the true import of whatever has been said so far you must have the certitude that I am not the body but the knowledge 'I am' only. In order to have this certitude, you have to meditate on the knowledge 'I am' for a reasonable amount of time. Doing away with the awareness of the body and getting completely engulfed by the knowledge 'I am' is the first and the last thing to be done, the only vow to be fulfilled. You can say it is the practice of being in the 'Turiya' or the fourth state at all times.
150. Once you become the 'I am' it will reveal all the knowledge and you need not go to anybody for guidance.
The whole approach of the Guru towards anybody who comes to him is: firstly, to make him understand what the 'I am' is and secondly, to tell him to abide in the 'I am' till he becomes the 'I am'. That is all that he does. The Guru's job is done, the rest is up to the seeker, his success totally depending on how correctly he has understood the 'I am' and whether he is doing any 'Sadhana' (practice) or not. The Guru will, of course, leave no stone unturned in imparting the teaching, provided he finds an honest and sincere seeker before him.
151. The primary concept 'I am' appears spontaneously and is the source of all concepts, so everything is mental entertainment.
The first time when you came to know that 'you are' or 'I am', how did it happen? Did you play any part in bringing about this feeling? No, it came quite spontaneously, on its own. In its nascent phase the 'I am' was pure with nothing attached to it, it was non-verbal. Gradually, as you grew up, the pure non-verbal 'I am' donned the guise of a verbal 'I am' with the 'so-and-so' attached to it and many, many more attachments followed. So you can see that the primary concept was the 'I am', all other concepts followed this primary one. Now, after understanding and following the teachings of the Guru you have realized that the 'I am' is false! The root is cut! Thenceforth, whatever follows, can it be anything else but mental entertainment?
152. This memory 'I am' is neither true nor false, it is without these two attributes. That memory of 'beingness' only appears to exist.
What is it by which continuity is maintained in your life? By the memory 'I am' or 'beingness', together with 'I am so-and-so living in this world' and 'being so-and-so I have these duties to perform'. Just see the trick that has been played by the 'I am' and it is neither true nor false but without these attributes. This can be said about the 'I am' just as it be said about a dream: the fact of its occurrence cannot be denied but its contents are false! The 'I am' is an appearance on your true being and will always only appear to exist, it can never enter the realm of reality.
153. The 'I am' itself is the world, go to the source and find out how it appeared and when.
As your understanding of the knowledge 'I am' becomes clear you realize that everything rests on the 'I am'. It is the very basis of the world that you see around you. Prior to the arrival of the knowledge 'I am' or during deep sleep you never knew or know about the existence of any world at all. The 'I am' is at the very beginning, so you have to go back to it and not only go back but spend a considerable amount of time there, only then will you come to know how it came to be.
154. The conviction that the 'I am' and the world never existed can happen only to 'Parabrahman' (The Absolute).
As you abide in the 'I am' after fully understanding it or earnestly doing the 'Sadhana' (practice) as prescribed by the Guru, a moment comes when you transcend the 'I am'. On this happening both the 'I am' and the world disappear and you enter the Absolute or 'Parabrahman' state. Only in this state will you have the conviction that the 'I am' and the world never existed. The Guru is in that state, he has gone beyond the 'I am' and this world, he is only using the 'I am' or his 'being' to communicate with anybody who comes to him.
155. To stabilize in the 'I am', which has no name and form, is itself liberation.
As you come back to the 'I am' in its purest form, i.e. as it was in its nascent state, and get stabilized there you become devoid of name and form. The nascent 'I am' is common to all, does not belong to anybody and has no name or form. You have been in this state in the very early stages of your life when you prevailed in the 'I am' only and knew nothing else. Apply your mind and try to recollect it and then try to live it.
156. The knowledge that is prior to thought - 'I am' - is covered by a human body which is a food-body with the vital breath and knowledge of the Self (Prana and Jnana).
The very earliest 'I am' was devoid of name and form, free from words, non-verbal. Gradually, as the processes of conditioning begin, the non-verbal 'I am' becomes the verbal 'I am'. You learn words and language which accumulate on the pure non-verbal 'I am'. Through your senses you perceive the body which requires food and vital breath for sustenance. The 'I am' identifies with the body and you say 'I am so-and-so'. Despite all these coverings, the indwelling knowledge of the Self or the pure 'I am' is always there. It is only a question of putting aside everything, uncovering it and getting stabilized in it - which is the 'Sadhana' (practice) that is being prescribed.
157. Once you reach the state of 'I am' and are aware of that only, you will have transcended all the tendencies ('Vasanas').
'Vasanas', tendencies or desires have a very strong pull and act as very potent hindrances in the 'Sadhana' (practice). The obvious desires are easy to identify but the subtle ones enter through the back door or are always stubbornly there in the background. The desire 'to be' is at the very root and often missed, it has developed gradually over the years as the verbal 'I am' with the 'I am so-and-so'. But, if you recollect and are observant enough, it will be clear that when the pure non-verbal 'I am', or sense of 'presence', arrived it had no traces of desire in it, although it was dormant. This pure 'I am' when desire was unexpressed is presently your goal. As you abide in it with full understanding a stage will come when you are aware of the 'I am' only. It is only on reaching this stage you will have transcended all desires and they won't trouble you anymore.
158. Be one with the Self, the 'I am'. If necessary discard the words 'I am', even without them you know 'you are'.
You have to totally identify yourself with the indwelling knowledge 'I am' in you. This knowledge 'I am', or sense of 'presence' has spontaneously dawned on you; it came without your asking or willing it to be so. When it came it was wordless, just a feeling of 'being', and as long as it prevailed words were not required and life went on. It was only when your conditioning began that words and language intruded and soon took over. This takeover has been so complete that you cannot conceive of a life without words, which now exist as concepts. So, in order to make your meditation effective, you are asked to discard the words 'I am', because even without them 'you are'.
159. The 'I am' is the awareness before thoughts, it cannot be put into words; you have to 'just be'.
When the knowledge 'I am' dawned on you, you knew no words or language. It was an awareness without or before thoughts. When we are using words for communication, it should be quite obvious that they cannot be used to describe the wordless state! It can be hinted at, or can be pointed out, but its real understanding will only come by being it, so do away with words and 'just be', then see what happens.
160. The 'I am' in you came from the 'I am' in your parents, but only then could they be called parents!
The fact that the 'I am' came from the 'I am' in your parents, or that your parents created you is the usual, conventional understanding. But just think of it the other way around, your parents could be called 'parents' only after your arrival, not before that! Before that they were just a couple, prospective parents, but not parents yet, until your arrival. Looking at it in this manner, in a way, you have created the 'parents'. So who created whom? Yet we talk of all this being the reality! Is it?
161. The 'I am' is the divinity in you and cause of the sacred repetition ('Japa') in you breath of 'So Hum' (I am 'That').
The 'I am' is the divinity or God in you and makes its presence felt through the sacred repetition or 'Japa' continuously going on in you in the form of breath. The ancient ones carefully observed the breath and found two subtle sounds in it at every inhalation and exhalation. When you inhale deeply and slowly you can hear 'Soooo' and when you exhale, again slowly you can hear 'Huuum'. These sounds are called 'So Hum', which in Sanskrit means 'I am That'. Many practitioners do this meditation of focusing their attention on the breath and observing the sound 'So Hum', which is regarded as a 'mantra' (condensed sacred words with a deep meaning).
162. The Absolute doesn't know that 'It is'. Only when the knowledge 'I am' spontaneously appeared did it know 'It is'.
There is no question of there being any experience in the Absolute or the 'Parabrahman'. All experiences demand the necessity of duality in the form of the experiencer (subject) and the experienced (object). The Absolute is a non-dual state, so who is to experience what? Moreover, the Absolute, does not require any experience or the need to know that 'it is'. By the spontaneous appearance of the knowledge 'I am' it came to know that 'it is', yet it doesn't require the 'I am' at all, for it is complete in itself, devoid of any wants.
163. Become initiated into the understanding of what I am expounding to you; I am talking about the seed of 'Brahman' or 'I am' that I am planting in you.
When the Guru is faced by a sincere seeker he is very keen on imparting his knowledge to him, and this itself is the initiation. His teaching is very simple. He awakens you to the long lost 'I am' or the 'Brahman', he calls it the planting of the 'Brahma seed' in you. It is just like on seeing or coming across something desirable - you want it desperately, the seeds of its acquisition are sown. Because once the 'Brahma seed' is sown in you, appropriate conditions prevailing, you will go to any lengths to bring it to fruition.
164. That 'Brahman' or 'I am' state alone embraces everything and is all the manifestation. You have to forget everything and merge with 'Brahman'.
Whatever you see or feel has the 'I am' as its basis, the 'I am' and 'Brahman' are the same. All is the creation of the 'I am' or 'Brahman' state, this you can also say from your own experience. Prior to the arrival of the 'I am', or in the deep sleep state, did you know of your existence or the world and the rest? It was only with the rising of the 'I am' that space, which engulfs everything, came. As a part of the 'Sadhana' (practice) you have to forget everything - that is, all externalities and become one with the 'Brahman'.
165. Whatever is created is created by the knowledge 'I am', there is no other path, only this conviction. This is it! The name and body arise from the 'I am'.
First you have to develop the understanding that the knowledge 'I am' is the creator of everything. This includes your name and form, both are products of the 'I am'. You must develop the thorough understanding that, yes, this is it - the 'I am' is the beginning and the end of everything. Then, once you have the understanding, you have to abide in the 'I am' or constantly meditate on it. This abidance is done to make your understanding a certitude or conviction that is unassailable. This is the only way out; there is no other path.
166. Abiding in the 'I am' (which is God) you won't want to leave it, and then it won't leave you!
The indwelling knowledge 'I am' is the God, or divinity in you. First you must try to understand it very clearly without any doubts whatsoever. And if you have understood it correctly, you will not want to leave for even a moment. If you feel a sense of reverence and love for this 'I am' it a sure sign that you have understood it. Then this divinity, or God will hold on to you and not let you go!
167. The 'I am' is there even without your saying so. Once you understand the 'I am', there is nothing further to understand.
The knowledge 'I am' is ever there, residing in all at all times. Not a single thing exists which is devoid of the 'I am'. It expresses itself through the five elements and three qualities. As the combination of the elements and qualities is, so the expression of 'I am'. This expression could be good or bad depending on the combination, but the 'I am' itself stands in its purity. Understanding the 'I am' is the very basis of the teaching, that done, there remains nothing further to be understood. What follows hereafter is the 'Sadhana' (practice), which is the meditation on the 'I am'. Your earnestness, sincerity and intensity of the practice will determine further progress.
168. When you are established in the 'I am' there are no thoughts or words, you are everything and everything is you; later even that goes.
As your 'Sadhana' (practice) matures, your conviction grows stronger and you get firmly established in the 'I am'. That is to say, you are permanently established in the 'Turiya' or the fourth state. In this state there are no thoughts or words, everywhere there is only the 'I am', you are everything and everything is you. When you abide thus, the stage is set for your transcending the 'I am'. Ultimately that too goes, leaving you as the Absolute or 'Parabrahman'.
169. The 'I am' is without ego, you can become its watcher only by getting established in it.
When you are established in the 'Turiya' or the fourth state, there is nothing else except the 'I am'. It is the 'I am' in its utmost purity with no add-ons at all, as a result there is no ego either. Ego comes with the verbal 'I am', when you say 'I am so-and-so living in this world'. With all this gone there is nothing but the 'I am' only; without words, the ego disappears. By getting established in the 'Turiya' or the fourth state you become its watcher and stand apart from it.
170. Watching happens to the Absolute with the appearance of 'I am', then does it knows that 'it is'.
The Absolute or 'Parabrahman' is as it is, formless and eternal. It does not require anything and is not dependent on anything. Watching just happens to the Absolute with the spontaneous appearance of 'I am'. Just as you begin watching a dream as it spontaneously appears, you are not actually involved in any of the events that are dreamt. With the appearance of the 'I am' the Absolute knows that 'it is', although this knowing is of no use to the Absolute nor does it depend on it.
171. Waking, dreaming and deep sleep states pertain only to the 'I am', you are above these.
The three states of waking, dreaming and deep sleep that all of us commonly experience are in fact based on the 'I am' or the 'Turiya', the fourth state. Different ways of similar fourfold classification are found abundantly in ancient literature, these are: the four bodies (gross, subtle, causal and supra-causal) or the four forms of 'Vani' or Speech ('Vaikhari'=spoken word, 'Madhyama'=tangible word in thought, 'Pashyanti'= intangible word in formation and 'Para'=source word). Whichever way we may describe these states, your true natural Absolute or 'Parabrahman' state is above all these. The 'I am' or 'Turiya' only appears on the Absolute and leads to the other three states and experience of the world.
172. When you go deep inside, nothing is all there is. There is no 'I am'. The 'I am' merges in the Absolute.
After understanding the 'I am', deep, intense, continuous meditation is required on it. It should be in such way that the knowledge 'I am' meditates on itself devoid of all bodily identification. When this is done, a moment comes when the 'I am' disappears or there is no 'I am' anymore. At this moment the 'I am' merges in the Absolute, quite similar to the ending or disappearance of the dream and you being as you are in the waking state.
173. Understand this 'I am' business and stand apart from it, transcend it. Just be.
The Guru is indeed very generous: see how stubbornly he persists with you. He knows your potential and also knows that at least theoretically you understand his teaching. By repeatedly hammering away at the teaching he wants you to get stabilized in the 'I am', for only then do you stand a chance to transcend it. He is constantly urging you or trying to push you into the 'Turiya' or fourth state. This he does tirelessly and relentlessly with anyone who comes to him and in whom he senses a genuine seeker. So, after expounding everything, he says 'now that you have understood everything, just be'.
174. The story of all of us begins with the 'I am', it is the starting point of both misery and happiness.
No being exists that is devoid of the 'I am'. However it may happen the story of all begins with the arrival of the knowledge 'I am'. Circumstantially you maybe conditioned in different ways, which, along with the combination of elements and qualities, is expressed accordingly. This expression could be good or bad, it could lead to happiness or misery, either way or whatever be the outcome, the starting point is always the 'I am'.
175. Prior to the appearance of form in the womb, the food stuffs take the form 'I am' and that appears in nine months.
As said earlier, the 'I am' is distributed everywhere in nature. The food stuffs that the food-body consumes also contain the 'I am' which moves on to the male or female gametes. The process of conception is the perpetuation of the 'I am' in the fetus. From birth till the age of three or so the 'I am' remains dormant and then spontaneously surfaces. So it is the 'I am' that appears and disappears, which we take as birth and death.
176. Stabilize in the 'Bindu' (Point) 'I am' and transcend it. 'Bindu' means without duality (Bin=without, Du=two).
It is the 'I am' again and it has been given a new name for a better understanding: the 'Bindu' (point), which when split into two words 'Bin' and 'Du' means without duality. How is this so? As the focus of your meditation on the 'I am' (or when the knowledge 'I am') meditates on itself for a prolonged period, a stage comes when it is only the 'I am' everywhere. When this happens, there is nothing else but the 'I am', it is a non-dual state. This 'Bindu' (point) is located nowhere yet is everywhere, it is there indwelling in you, find it and get stabilized in it.
177. It is the 'I am' that investigates the 'I am'. Realizing its falsehood it disappears and merges into Eternity.
In this very moment as you are reading through these lines, or as you ponder over them, who is it that is doing so? It is the knowledge 'I am' investigating the 'I am'. All this that you are doing has the 'I am' in the background. The 'I am' is the driving force behind this entire undertaking; it desperately wants to know what it is. As the understanding grows and it realizes its falsehood, it disappears. This done, there is nothing more left to do, you are then in Eternity.
178. The knowledge 'I am' is God, if presently you are unable to understand it then just worship it.
Despite all efforts, even after an enormous amount of study you are still unable to understand the 'I am'. What to do? Don't get disheartened, the Guru says there is a way out; to begin with realize that the 'Jnana Marga' (path of knowledge) is not for you. This realized, you must now resort to the 'Bhakti Marga' (the path of worship). And, what is to be worshipped? It is the knowledge 'I am', which is the God in you. Remember, both paths are complementary, knowledge leads to worship and worship leads to knowledge. It is only a question of individual disposition as to what suits you, but either way you will make it.
179. If you like, take the 'I am' as your 'prarabdha' (destiny), become one with it, then you can transcend it.
Your destiny worries you; will I be successful in life? Will I become this or that? Will I have a serious illness? And the fear of death, and how it will come, is always lurking there in the background. But look what the Guru says! It is something not only astonishing but rewarding as well, it extricates you from all this bundle of worries and apprehension. Why not take knowledge 'I am' to be your destiny?
I will become the 'I am' only and nothing else - that is my destiny. Abide in the 'I am' only, meditate on the 'I am' only, day in and day out it is the 'I am' only, everywhere and at all times. What will happen on the acceptance of the 'I am' as your destiny? You will transcend it and be free from the clutches of birth and death, which is the greatest reward you can ever imagine.
180. Along with the knowledge 'I am' appears space and the world. When the knowledge 'I am' departs the world is liquidated.
Think hard, apply your mind and try to recollect the moment when the knowledge 'I am' first appeared spontaneously and you came know that 'you are'. If this is hard, then try to observe what happens the next time you wake up from deep sleep. The 'I am', space and the world appear almost simultaneously, in one stroke, and then everything else takes over and the fact that those three have 'appeared' on you is obliterated. What is it that is holding this perception of yours? Is it not the 'I am'? As long as the 'I am' is there you will perceive the space and world. If the 'I am' departs both will disappear.
181. Hammer it into yourself that the 'I am' or 'beingness' is the parent of the entire manifestation, then the 'I am' itself will help you stabilize in the 'I am'.
A process of reversion has to be undertaken in order to understand and believe that the 'I am' or 'beingness' is the root of the entire manifestation.
Reversion means to go back to that moment when you first came to know that 'you are'; before this did you know anything about the manifested world that you see? It was non-existent for you. Quite similarly, in deep sleep when the 'I am' is held in abeyance the world is non-existent for you. As the 'I am' comes, so does this entire manifestation; as the 'I am' goes, it's all gone! As you understand and become familiar with all this, the 'I am' befriends you and then it helps you get stabilized in itself.
182. The 'I am' is observed by the Absolute, it has no senses or eyes, witnessing just happens.
When you get stabilized in the 'I am' a moment comes when you stand apart from it. The 'I am' is observed or witnessed by the Absolute and this occurs without the senses or the eyes. This witnessing just happens, the 'I am' quite spontaneously appears on the Absolute. As the 'I am' departs, the Absolute remains.
183. I am introducing you to your 'I am'. The first stage is to meditate on the 'I am' and stabilize in it.
This is what the Guru has been doing all the while: he has tried to make you understand the knowledge 'I am' in every possible manner. He has even gone to the extent of saying that if you don't understand then just worship it as the God in you. After the Guru introduces you to your 'I am', he asks you to meditate on it, which helps you get stabilized in the 'I am'. Then the stage is set for your transcending it.
184. Carry the conviction in yourself that the knowledge 'I am' within you is God.
Many, many seekers come to the Guru's doorstep. He gives one look and knows who is what, so depending on the capabilities of the seeker, he expounds the teaching to him accordingly. There are those who have been around for some while and have understood a bit. Now, as they depart, they ask for some last parting words that may stand them in good stead when they go. He tells them to carry the conviction that the knowledge 'I am' within is God and live by it, that's all.
185. To the One who meditates on the knowledge 'I am', everything in the realm of Consciousness becomes clear.
After understanding the knowledge 'I am' without words, meditation on it, or the 'Sadhana' (practice), is a must, there is no escape from it. To the one who follows the teaching of his Guru and earnestly meditates on the wordless 'I am', all in the realm of Consciousness will be revealed. He will know how this Consciousness came to be and how it is the Consciousness that is the creator of everything. The ultimate revelation is that he is not the Consciousness at all, but stands apart from it as the Absolute, or 'Parabrahman'.
186. Go anywhere, but never forget that the knowledge 'I am' is God. Day by day through constant meditation this conviction will grow.
You have spent some with the Guru, you have tried to imbibe the teaching but you cannot stay with him indefinitely. As you depart, you ask for something to live by and he tells you, wherever you may go, never to forget that the indwelling knowledge 'I am' in you is God. Practice is essential, gradually as your practice grows in intensity and duration a day will come when you have the firm conviction that the knowledge 'I am' is God indeed. Being steeped in the 'I am' you stand a good chance of transcending it.
187. Don't bother about anything, just continue abiding in the 'I am', a moment will come when it will be pleased and reveal all the secrets.
There will be periods of frustration; there will be periods of doubt. Your worldly involvements would hamper your 'Sadhana' (practice) and an atmosphere of defeat would prevail. But, come what may, just throw everything aside, don't bother about anything and continue your abidance in the 'I am' with all earnestness. The 'I am' would test your endurance, but a moment would come when it will be pleased with you, become your friend and release its stranglehold on you.
188. The trap of birth and death is because of the 'I am', dwell on it, realize it and transcend it.
Just observe the Janus-like nature of the 'I am'. It acts like a foe when it has laid this trap of birth and death into which you fall. Once you are trapped, it requires an extraordinary effort to get free. If you are fortunate enough to come across the right Guru, or his teachings, only then do you stand a chance of getting out of this trap. The Guru's words are very simple and straightforward: understand the 'I am', abide in it, realize it and transcend it. When you abide in the 'I am' it becomes your friend and helps you out.
189. Get established in the 'I am' without words, the 'Paravani', but you the Absolute are not that.
The ancient ones have classified 'Vani', or speech into four categories: 'Vaikhari', which is the spoken word; 'Madhyama' is of the mind or unspoken tangible word - it is thought or thinking; then comes the 'Pashyanti', which is the formative stage when the word is still intangible; finally, the 'Para', or the wordless source of all speech. When we speak it involves all these in a brisk or swift sequential movement. 'Vani' (speech) is but one, it is only for our understanding that it has been classified, and it flows out in the order: Para, Pashyanti, Madhyama and Vaikahri. These four in that order are said to correspond to the 'Turiya' (the fourth), deep sleep, dreaming and waking states of consciousness. As you go back you return from the spoken word to the wordless 'I am', which is the 'Turiya' or 'Paravani' state. But you, the Absolute, you are none of these.
190. Your true identity - The Absolute - is prior to the 'I am'. How can you provide a uniform for it?
The uniform or garb that we have provided for our true identity is that of the body with all its senses, and of the mind in the form of concepts. The primary concept is the 'I am' which has no name or form and has just spontaneously appeared on your true being. You true identity, the Absolute or 'Parabrahman' is prior to the 'I am', so how can any uniform or garb be provided for it.
191. My Guru taught me what 'I am', I pondered only on that. My original state is to be in that state where there is no 'I am'.
The Guru tells us how he realized his true nature and from his own experience he imparts the same teaching to us. We can see from this how important the understanding of the 'I am' is, pondering over it and then getting stabilized in it. This is the first step towards realizing your original state, which is prior to the 'I am'. Only on getting firmly stabilized in the 'I am' will you be able to transcend it. Then you will be in the original Absolute state which is devoid of the 'I am'.
192. The 'I am' happened and the world was cooked up. Prior to that you did not have the message 'I am', you existed, but you did not know.
The 'I am' is the beginning and the end of everything, it was with the appearance of the 'I am' that this whole manifestation came into being. They are just two small words but see what havoc they have cooked up in the form of this world. And the way the 'I am' has done all this is indeed astonishing: never for a moment do you believe that it is all false and actually never came into being! You, the Absolute are always there, 'I am' or no 'I am', by the appearance of the 'I am' you only know that 'you are'.
193. In the infinite state, the 'I am' state is temporary; don't give up your true standpoint, otherwise you will be fooled.
The Absolute, infinite state ever prevails. The appearance on it of the 'I am' state is temporary and will vanish one day, but the infinite is always there as it has been. On the appearance of the 'I am' in its nascent state, it is quite free, without name or form. Soon the process of conditioning takes over and you get fooled into believing the 'I am' to be the body-mind, and lose your standpoint. You have to go back and come to that wordless state of the 'I am' and abide in it in order to realize its temporary and false nature. Then you have regained your standpoint as the Absolute infinite which is as it is and will be forever.
194. Catch hold of the 'I am' and all obstacles will evaporate, you will be beyond the realm of body-mind.
The Guru speaks from his own experience, he has gone to great lengths to make you understand the 'I am'. The first thing that the Guru does to every seeker that comes to him, is to make him understand the 'I am'. On the clarity of this understanding is based the entire foundation of the practice and progress. Unless you understand the true importance of the 'I am' you will not pay heed to it or make attempts to catch hold of it. The 'I am' is impersonal and without name and form, the moment you catch hold of it and become one with it, you too achieve the same status. On becoming one with the 'I am' you go beyond the realm of body-mind.
195. All questions exist because the 'I am' is there. After the 'I am' has disappeared, no questions arise.
The 'I am' is the primary concept, the root, the very beginning from where all questions begin. When you dwell in the 'I am' you are at the very beginning, so where is the question of any questions existing here. If it should happen that while you are abiding in the 'I am' you diverge from it, questions may arise, but not till then. Once you are firmly established in the 'I am' a time will come when it disappears, then there is no chance of any question arising - the root has been cut!
196. Understand the 'I am', transcend it and conclude that 'beingness', the world and Brahman are unreal.
The Guru again urges the seeker to understand the 'I am' first, for without understanding they are merely two words. When you consider them as merely two words, you are still at the verbal level and you may even misunderstand and believe that the Guru is asking you to reaffirm your ego. The 'I am' that the Guru is talking of is the wordless one, the very primordial one that arose when you just came to know that 'you are'. This 'I am' is impersonal and without any attributes, that is where you have to go back to and reside. Only on transcending the 'I am' will you realize that this 'beingness', the world and Brahman are unreal.
197. The 'So Hum' japa (recitation) is incessantly going on in your pulse indicating 'I am'; get in tune with it by recitation.
The breath, which as a result of the pulse, is observable as two subtle sounds during inhalation and exhalation, which we hear as 'So Hum'. This 'So Hum' sound is regarded as a 'Mantra' for 'Japa' (recitation) and means 'I am That'. The 'So Hum' sound that is naturally available to you is actually wordless and indicates the primordial 'I am'. Some seekers may find this method conducive for their practice, so the Guru recommends recitation of the 'So Hum' and getting in tune with it.
198. The recitation of 'So Hum', indicating 'I am', must be for a very long time, it is prior to words.
Any 'Sadhana' (practice) has to be undertaken for a very long time, a lot depends on your earnestness and intensity. Rarely have there been seekers who have realized their true identity after a short period. The 'So Hum' is prior to words and naturally available to you, its evolution has occurred in the process of self-inquiry as: 'Deham Naham' (I am not the body), 'Ko Hum?'(Then, Who am I?), the wordless answer that came was 'So Hum' (I am That).
199. The 'I am' is the only God to please and if pleased, it will lead you to the source.
Conventionally and externally there are many Gods available, you may go from God to God and get lost and confused. But the 'I am' is internal and universally present in all; moreover it is devoid of any name or form. If you have to worship at all costs, worship the 'I am', it is the only God to please. If you befriend the 'I am' and it becomes pleased, it will lead you to the source by releasing you from its ('I am') clutches.
200. A 'Jnani' is one who has come to a conclusion about the raw material 'I am' and stands apart from it.
Who is a 'Jnani' (a man of wisdom)? A 'Jnani' is he who has not only understood and developed a firm conviction about the knowledge 'I am', but has also transcended it. He (the 'Jnani') managed to achieve this through the 'Sadhana' (practice) of meditating on the 'I am' for a reasonable amount of time and in the process went beyond and stood apart from it. Having done so, he is out of the cycles of birth and death.
201. That soundless sound, the humming 'I am' is a reminder that you are God. To understand and realize it, meditate on it.
The sound 'So Hum', observed while inhaling and exhaling during the breathing process is extremely subtle. The humming of the 'I am' is even subtler than this and has been called the 'soundless sound'. It is a constant reminder that you are God. Meditation on that soundless or wordless 'I am' is recommended as a means to understand and realize it. Theoretical or verbal understanding of the 'I am' is not enough, you have to actually realize it and become one with it, and for that meditation is essential.
202. You are in the 'I am' without any effort, so be there. Don't try to interpret the 'I am'.
Meditation, understanding and realization are all complementary processes and work in an overall way. You are always in the 'I am', do you require any effort to know that 'you are'? So just be in it.
Words cannot be used to describe the wordless; they can at the most be pointers. Any attempts on your part to interpret the 'I am' is beating the very purpose of understanding and realizing it. In fact, it is the other way around, when all interpretations come to an end, only then are you in the 'I am' without words. Ultimately, even this 'Nisargadatta Gita' will have to be kept aside and forgotten, it is only then that your 'Sadhana' (practice) will begin.
203. The 'I am' in body form can reach the highest state only if you understand, accept it and dwell there. Then you escape birth and death.
At present you are in this body endowed with the indwelling knowledge 'I am'. Understand the knowledge 'I am' and use it to meditate on itself. When the knowledge 'I am' meditates on itself for a reasonable amount of time, finally only the 'I am' remains and nothing else. This is the highest state of the knowledge 'I am' in body form (also called the 'Turiya' or the fourth). On understanding, accepting and abiding in the 'I am' there is no question of rebirth.
204. The 'I am' is an advertisement of the Absolute, an illusion, temporary. The one who knows this knows the eternal principle.
The 'I am', in its purest and wordless form, is a hoarding or advertisement of the Absolute or the 'Parabrahman'. It has a moment of appearance and a moment of disappearance, it is always temporary, and like a dream, it's an illusion. In order to understand this nature of the 'I am' one has to go back to the moment when it first appeared spontaneously. If this is hard, try to observe the 'I am' as it appears the moment you wake up after deep sleep.
205. In the womb the 'I am' is dormant: When we are three years old it arises spontaneously. It climaxes at middle age, diminishes in old age and finally disappears.
Between the appearance and disappearance of the 'I am' an entire life time is covered. Both the arrival and departure are not in your hands and occur quite spontaneously. The changes that take place in your signature as life progresses are a fairly good indicator of this rise and fall of the 'I am'. In the later stages of your life you are quite unable to sign the way you did in your middle age or youth. Even if you manage to do it, it requires a great effort and a little unsteadiness is discernible in the background.
206. Remember this, if you want to remember me or this visit here, remember the knowledge 'I am'.
During every moment that you have been with the Guru he has had only one objective, which is to make every possible attempt to push you into the 'I am' or the 'Turiya'. As you are getting ready to leave or even as you are actually leaving he says that if at all you wish to remember him or this visit, remember the knowledge 'I am'. When he senses a genuine seeker, he plants the 'Brahma' seed in him with the hope that some day it will sprout, prosper and liberate him. If that were to happen, that seeker would in his turn sow the 'Brahma' seed into others.
207. The body identity cannot get this knowledge, the knowledge 'I am' must get this knowledge; when knowledge abides in knowledge there is transcendence of knowledge.
If you sit in meditation thinking 'I am so-and-so meditating', there is no chance that you can become one with the 'I am'. All external links have to be totally severed and only the 'I am' should remain, devoid of the body idea. It should be the 'I am' in its utmost purity, it was in its utmost purity when it arose, that is the reason for the necessity to go back and recapture that nascent 'I am'. Do this repeatedly till you stabilize in that 'I am' that is without words, you have been through that phase, so it is only a question of application and endurance. When the knowledge 'I am' without words abides in itself there is a chance of transcending it.
208. This 'I am' enjoyed beyond the body is your destiny. Dwell in it and it itself will tell you its own story.
When you dwell in the 'I am' without words and if you recollect it correctly, you will feel the freedom and joy that you felt during that nascent phase of the 'I am'. At that time you did not know anything at all but the 'I am' and you danced around in joy with it, completely carefree and oblivious of everything. Then came the conditioning and the development of the verbal 'I am' and your calamities had begun. Your actual destiny is the 'I am' beyond the body, when you dwell in it, it itself will reveal its story.
209. When you dwell in destiny as 'I am', you realize that it is not your death, but the disappearance of 'I amness'.
The Guru is revealing a secret that is of such tremendous importance that only an advanced seeker, who has spent a considerable amount of time pondering over his teachings, can grasp its true value. He is saying: your destiny is not death but the disappearance of 'I am'! This realization can only come to someone who has transcended the 'I am' and realized his true identity as the Absolute or the 'Parabrahman'. The 'I am' that had appeared on him (which we mistakenly believe as birth) has now disappeared (which we mistakenly believe as death), that's all. He has nothing to do with it as he never was the 'I am'. He comes to the conclusion that he is unborn, he was unborn and shall remain unborn!
210. You are beyond desire, which itself depends on the 'I am'. Do not suppress desires, just don't identify with them and they will disappear.
Nearly one in every three seekers asks what can be done about desire. It is a hurdle that everyone has to overcome, and it is so big that it seems almost impossible to overcome. To them, the Guru says that you are beyond desire; the desire is of the 'I am' and dependent on it. So, rather than suppressing a desire it would be more useful not to identify with it, then it will disappear. Understanding and meditating on the 'I am' without words is all the more conducive to the process.